Thursday night was a big night at our house. First, I was going out … to a BAR … I don’t remember the last time that happened. And the “event” didn’t even start until 8:30pm – which is usually when I’m wrapping up the night and getting on my pj’s. AND, it was our first night getting a sitter that wasn’t family.
It started well. Cristy is moving departments at her place of work so her team was throwing her a farewell party. They all went to dinner together and then planned a keri-okie party at a nearby bar. I stayed home for the evening and got G ready for her 8:30 sitter.
I asked a girl who I’ve known for a while. She’s this amazing person who you wish you would’ve been at 19 and hope that your daughter (& everyone’s daughter) ends up to be. She’s current on all her infant CPR certs and is really just a wonderful human being. On top of that, she loves G. So she showed up and I was a little nervous. I showed her all kinds of useless things – like the sock drawer. I made sure she had the phone numbers and told her we’d be home by 10:30. Two, short hours later. Glory was already changed and fed and ready for bed.
I thought.
So at 8:45 I arrive at the bar. Cristy meets me at the car, drops her phone inside, and we head in. They’ve already been thinking about all the songs they plan to sing so Cristy asks me for my phone so they could use it as a light to read the keri-okie book. No problem. But I forgot about it. Twenty minutes later I decide to check my phone. I reach in my pocket and it’s not there. I swear, at that moment I knew something was wrong. I start frantically looking for my phone and when I find it the screen says none other than “4 missed calls” – all from my babysitter. My heart fell out of my chest. I dialed her phone number, handed the phone to Cristy and backed away about 3 feet. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Cristy is just listening and then I hear “what do you mean she wasn’t breathing?”
Kill me.
We both ran to the car and I’m trying to listen to the 1/2 conversation but I’m imagining terrible things and wanting to drive off the nearest cliff. Cristy told me to head to Primary Children’s Hospital – which meant that my baby not only wasn’t safe in her home but someone drove her from my house and she was surrounded by strangers.
The bar wasn’t even 10 minutes from our house. And the hospital is less than 10 minutes away but I swear the drive there took an hour. I ran red lights. I prayed 5000 prayers. As we drove and I listened to Cristy on the phone, I learned that my baby rode in an ambulance. I learned that our sitter had to call 911 because right after I left, our baby started vomiting in a way that made her lose her breath and choose not to breathe rather than risk choking.
When we got to the ER and found the room, (literally 50 minutes after I arrived at the bar) we grabbed her and held her like it was the last time we’d see her. She was fine by then. Her stomach had calmed and she had calmed. They questioned our poor sitter like crazy. “Did she fall? Did you drop her?” She was covered in vomit and trying to give all the information she could. Her story was something like this:
“Keri left and 10 minutes later, she started throwing up. I called her. She didn’t answer. She threw up again so I started calling other people to find Keri. After the 4th time she threw up – & I mean Everywhere – she started holding her breath. I couldn’t tell if she couldn’t breathe or wouldn’t breathe. Her color changed and she just started staring off in to nothing…” She did the right thing. She was amazing. We love her more today and are so thankful she took it seriously.
But Cristy and I both had so much guilt for 1) not having the phone and 2) not being there when Glory must have been so, so scared. After a few hours they said she must have some kind of bug and that there was no problems in her lungs or with her breathing. She never had a fever. There were no signs of any problems. We never saw her throw up. She was smiling like crazy by the time we left. We took her to her pediatrician the next day and really, all is perfectly well.
I still cry when I think about it. I still feel like she must hate me for not being home at such a stressful time for her. All those people came through our front door and had their hands on my sick baby. And not only was I not home, I didn’t even know it was happening.
I can’t believe the whole thing – from when I walked out the door to when she arrived at the hospital – was just 50 minutes. I can’t believe I let my phone out of my hand. At this point I don’t think I’ll ever have a babysitter ever again. (unless she’s inside while I’m outside – or something) It’s crazy how quickly the whole world can change.
It’ll take a while before I’ll forgive myself. And I’ll definitely never forget.
An ambulance. Seriously!