You know what really bothers me?  I mean really makes me crazy?   – when people put some words together to describe something that doesn’t really make sense!  Or when they use an analogy that has nothing to do with what they’re actually talking about.  I know we’ve all been “put thru the ringer” with the fancy Palin language of late but I’m talking real people…like me.

Last night on the news, I saw a woman at a gas pump.  She seemed very happy that the prices has dropped here in SLC.  (although we’re still the 5th highest in the NATION but that’s not my point.)  So they throw the mic in her face and she said (in front of all the world) “you can’t shake a stick at it!”  What?

I admit that the real reason I hate these “things” is that I can never remember them.  They don’t make sense and therefor, I can’t remember to say them when the time is right.  For instance, last night Cristy got up to pee.  (tmi, sorry)  When she was getting back in bed I said, “you’re like the cow in the dish store!”  She knew exactly what I meant.  She always does.  & there was nothing vicious about me calling her a cow, I swear.  But it’s really a “bull in a Chinese dish store” or something like that and why not just say “could you get back in bed SOFTLY?” 

I also heard a commentator say recently that “if you throw enough poop on a wall, eventually some of it sticks.”  Well, from the conversation, I could tell they were talking about smear tactics and how there are going to be some people that actually believe the crap they’re saying.  But why not just say that?  Why do you have to use some crazy sentence that you have to look at backward or upside down to actually figure it out? 

I’m not an idiot.  I like to think that the English language is somewhat of a masterpiece and all these little metaphores are just confusing me our poor children.  Or maybe I just need a good book full of little one-liners so I can be witty like the rest of you.

So again, why can’t you shake a stick at it?