Sorry about the spacing issue.  I can’t get rid of it!

We were tagged by Raz-ma-Taz and Proud Prowsers for the same meme so I think we better get on it.

How long have you been married?  Exactly one week and 10 minutes.  Thank you California!!

Where did you meet? We met at a friends birthday party but didn’t meet again until years later.

How long did you date?  We didn’t move in together for over two years.  So maybe that’s my answer but I think we’ll always be “dating”…

How old is she? 44

 

Who eats more?  Her. 

Who said “I love you” first?  Her.

Who is taller?  She is - by about 3 inches.  She likes it that way and complains when I wear heels.

Who sings better?  Her, by far.

Who is smarter?   I think I’m “finance” smart but I’ll give her the rest.

Whose temper is worse?  Me.  She’s so much more easy going.

Who does the laundry?  I do.  If not, all my “pinks” would be gray.Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?  If you’re at the foot of the bed, I’m on the right.  But, more importantly, I am always closest to the door.

Who pays the bills?  She does.  She’s pretty handy with a spreadsheet.

 

   

 

 

Who cooks dinner?  Her.

Who drives when you are together?  Her.

Who is more stubborn?  Me.Who kissed whom first? She kissed me first.  I move turtle slow. 

Who is the first to admit to being wrong?  I think we’re both pretty good about admitting when we’re wrong but it probably takes me longer…

Whose parents do you see the most?  Mine, definitely.  Her mutha is in Houston and her daddy is in heaven.

Who proposed?  She did.  Last Thursday.  We were engaged for 25 hours.What’s her best physical attribute?  She has eyes that smile.  Oh, and great boobs.  

Who has more friends?   I guess I do.  But our best friends are equally ours.What are you most proud of her for?  She is an amazing mom and has incredible patience.  I am proud of her for endless things.

Who has more siblings?  She does.  There are five of them. 

Okay, that was fun.  Now I’m going to tag the two girls I spend the most time with in the world… Political Maven & QWerid Utah.  Love to you both!

You’ve waited so patiently and I SO appreciate it.  A girl needs some time to do laundry and have a drink!  Also, I needed Cristy to download the photos we had so I could give you a nice little show. 

 This is the view from our honeymoon suite.  I don’t golf but I spent many mornings and evenings looking straight out to heaven.

 

This is the ring.  Cristy listened to every word I ever said about what kind of ring I’d want.  It’s perfect.  It’s insanely perfect!

Try not to look at my nails.  I obviously had no idea I’d be sporting this diamond this weekend…

A little note from my mom and an autographed bottle of wine from jbeeky…

 This is us filling out our MARRIAGE LICENSE!  I want every one of you to do this very thing!

This is us right before we went outside to be LAWFULLY WED!  Look at those happy faces!!

Our Wedding Party on the Bay… 

My best mom and my best girl - she’s my WIFE!!  Can you stand it?

These are just photos of a beautiful cave and what you see when you get to the bottom.  I love La Jolla!

Thank you all so much for all the warm wishes.  It was definitely a rollar coaster of a weekend.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever experienced so many different emotions at one time.

We are thrilled to tell the world that we’re actually married and we’re committed to helping fair minded Californians win in November.  Everytime someone congratulated us, we reminded them to vote.  Just remember, not voting is the same as voting “no”. 

We are now very ready for the rest of our lives and to move on to the next steps to our baby.

Love to you all from both of us!

It’s early and I haven’t had any time to download pictures but I had to take a minute to tell you about the “non-wedding” things on our trip.

Even though we seemed to get away from the theme of this trip, the real theme was the Indigo Girls & jbeeky.  So let’s start there!

About 4.5 seconds after Cristy proposed, jbeeky called.  I answered because I couldn’t wait to share the news and also because I needed her address so we could pick her up for ARay that night.  I first told her about the BFN but then just started screaming that I was engaged - for the next 27 hours!  I’m sure I left her stunned but then she started screaming right along with me.  Wonderful.

So a few hours later, we went to pick her up.  Like her, I wondered (and desperately hoped) if she would be everything I thought.  I have Loved talking with her through our blogs but how would I know if she was a pill popper or a drama queen who likes to fight with bouncers?  I was a titch worried but Cristy was really worried. So we picked her up.  I jumped out and jumped right at her.  I hugged her and hugged her again and it felt like I hadn’t seen her in a few months but that we had had years of memories to talk about.  She is wonderful!  I’m not really about sharing her at this point but if you need to laugh or cry, I would recommend you stopping by her blog.

Okay, onto the Girls concert.  Did I ever mention to you that we were on the 2nd row?  We were so close to them her that we could see every detail on her plaid pants.  We could see the sweat on her face and the spray from her mouth during big, passionate songs that were surely just for me us.  It was the best concert ever (& I know I say that everytime) and I’m just sad that we’re still not sitting right there with our hands raised and voices screaming.  It was perfection.  AndI’ve finally found someone who loves her them as much as I do.

The next day was our fabulous wedding and I promise I will go home tonight and download pictures so you can take a piece of it for yourselves.

Saturday we were invited to dine at the jbeeky household.  We showed up and were completely pampered for the next 4 hours.  (not nearly long enough)  We had delicious salmon with apples on top, a salad that was so fresh you could smell it and greens and cheesecake and wine and champagne.  We spent some time on her front porch and it’s one of the most lovely places on earth.  When we left I was sad in a way like we lived in Italy and wouldn’t be back until someone died or married or something.  But I’m certain, as I write this, she’s looking into airfare to visit my city and we’ll drink on my patio and cry in my kitchen.  It was amazing and they were all such wonderful hosts. 

We spent yesterday in La Jolla and enjoyed the sun and water.  I brought home a beautiful necklace, a flowy skirt and a dragonfly (Gracie) bracelet.

Oh…and a stunning diamond ring. 

 

So, as you can imagine, yesterday morning really sucked.  We literally got the phone call as soon as we walked out of the airport and I could tell our favorite nurse was really sad.  She cried with me on the phone and then I hung up and landed somewhere comfy on Cristy. 

As bad as it was, I was thankful to be somewhere “else” and surrounded by my girl, my best sister-in-law and my amazing mother.  They all gave me the space to say what I needed to say and cry when I needed to cry.  It’s not fair.  And I honestly feel like a piece of me that is larger than I thought, has been torn away.

So we get to our hotel and get settled.  We all met at the restaurant for lunch and then head back to start getting ready for Brandi and the Indigo Girls.  Cristy and I sat on the bed and cried a little more and then she said, “I don’t know if this is a good time to give you a present…” and handed me a little box. I instantly thought it was something to celebrate a pregnancy and felt badly that I had ruined that for her.  But she said it wasn’t and I opened it. 

Inside was a beautiful little Asian box with lime green satin.  She said she bought it because I always have loose jewelry in my bag and now I can keep it all straight. I set it aside and we began this amazing conversation.  She sat their in front of me & poured her heart out.  She talked about our loss that morning but also how incredibly blessed we are and how happy she is.  And right in the middle of it, she asked me to marry her.  She has asked many times.  And I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve always said no.  About 2 years ago she told me she’d never ask again and that if we ever married, I would be the one asking her.  But there she was…asking.  And I was just looking at her thinking, “why have I always said no?”  This time is different and certain and my heart was so full of sadness and still I was so incredibly happy.

I said yes.

So we hugged and kissed and cried and yelled and then, because I’m a total control freak, I said, “but I want to say when, okay?” Dumb, I know.  I’m only telling you all this because you know my personality and it wouldn’t be like me to just let the moment take over.  Anyway, at some point, I reached over to my little box and opened it and I don’t even know why.  But when I did, the most beautiful diamond ring was shining so brightly at me and she instantly said, “how about tomorrow at 4?”

It was all arranged (should I accept) and everyone knew but me. 

We’ll be married today at 4pm in San Diego.  Here Come the Brides.

I’m the happiest girl in all the world.

(so much more to come…)

I’m sorry it took me so long to post.  We had just arrived in San Diego when they called.  It sucks.  My heart is broken.  But we’re bound & determined to make this happen.

I suppose we look for new stars…

Thank you again for following through with us.  It means the world to us.

Now I’m off to enjoy my vacation.  No more shots.  Add alchol and caffeine.  I suppose those are pieces of good in all this “bad”.

xo.

I refuse!  That white space has put a funk so deep down inside me - you can’t even imagine the tantrum I threw last night!  I also blame the hormones and the fact that I have the sorest ass you’ve ever, ever seen in your whole life.  Seriously, progesterone is killing me.  My left cheek has a numbed space about as big as my fist.  And the rest of it is so incredibly bruised!  & not even near the point of the stab wound.  Is that normal?  Other than that, I feel nothing.  I was spotting on Saturday and again a bit yesterday but no nothing.  What is that?   

People keep telling me that they saw white space clear up until their missed period.  Really?  I mean, I realize we’re only on day 11 and I’m still jumping early but it seems you’d see something.  Either way, we’re not testing any more until the beta on Thursday morning - which will be day 13.  I’ll do my best to blog something when I get to San Diego.

Back to my tantrum.  I have to admit to you all that I behaved so terribly.  My poor stepson had these giant tears in his eyes, just certain my anger was directed at him.  It broke my heart.  I said the “f” word TWICE where he could hear me.  (probably 10 more times when he couldn’t)  I was so mad at Cristy that I swore I’d make her stay home from our vacation.  You must wonder what it was that made me so angry…no?  Well, I’ll tell you!  She abandoned me!  (yes, I used those words)  That’s right - she left me by myself for over an hour at a baseball game.  And my butt was very sore and she still left to take Yegs on a train ride and how dare she do something wonderful for him awful to me.  There I was, a mere mid-thirty year old girl - alone to fend for myself against foul balls and drunk baseball fans.  Who knows what might have happened?  Unbelievable.

So I stormed home and you can imagine how butch I looked with all my anger hovering over my pink scooter and baby blue helmet.  I was determined to stay angry for three days.  Yep!  I’m setting a time limit because that’s just how awful she was.  But on my drive home I realize what an idiot I am.  And that I am full of hormones and that this is nothing I would be angry at on a regular day.  So you know what she did?  & this is after I was literally screaming at her for 20 seconds?  (before my amazing “storm off”)  She came in the family room and apologized.  She owned every second of it and said how thoughtless it was of her to “abandon” me and how she should’ve done everything different.  I spent another twenty minutes pouting and then collapsed in her arms.  Then I headed up to Yegs to apologize, yet again, for being such a maniac. 

She is my saving grace.

I love you, Cristy.

It’s early morning on Monday.  I’m exhausted as usual.  We had a really great weekend but I think we spent a little too much time playing and not enough time resting.

Our whole weekend was pretty “gay” oriented.  Friday night I volunteered to help our parenting group at Gay Bingo.  Cristy and Yegs stayed and played and loved every minute of it.  Then we went over to a friends birthday party and played with the gays there.  Saturday was our annual HRC Gala and you can’t even begin to imagine how gay that is!  800 of the gayest people you’ve ever seen - but really dressed up.  There was plenty of drinking and dancing.  Kathy Nijimny spoke and I think she should be my new friend.  LOVED her!  Yesterday was gay softball (with hung-over players from the previous night) and then off to Father’s Day which wasn’t really gay at all.  But you can see how we way over did the “gay” thing, right? 

Every bit of it was wonderful.

Now we’re on to looking forward to Thursday.  Our flight leaves around 10:30 and we’ll have that ocean air on us by 11:45.  I’m so excited!  I plan to pack 5 different dresses and three pair of sandals and that’s it!  (Well, aside from my under things…)  That way I’ll have plenty of room to bring ARay trinkets home.  Like her plaid pants and maybe a hair sample so I can clone her.  Or not.

That’s also the day we find out our big answer.  I have to admit that I broke down and tested this morning and it was a very LOUD no.  10dp3dt.  Infact, the open space was so brightly white that it practically glowed.  I’m very sad about it but trying not to throw myself overboard.  It definitely means there won’t be more than one and certainly made me doubt it all together.  But we’ll see. 

I did everything right this time.  Everything.  Plus, I had bonus things like my girls t-shirt, a lucky rock, a blessed crossed and even a fertility dance from friends the other night.  One friend even pulled up her skirt and GAVE me her fertility!  You can’t get more love than that!  (Thanks, mm)  If this doesn’t work, I suppose I need new stars.

Anyway, keep up the hopes & wishes.  I’m over here hoping you’re all doing well and wishing you a wonderful week. 

That’s right!  One week until ARay and jbeeky!  Oh - and that silly little thing they call “first beta”…

But back to the controlled part of my first sentence.  One week from this very Eve, I will be graced with the beauty of Humphrey’s in San Diego, with ARay wooing me from just a few moments away and Cristy holding my hand and trying to get me stop jumping up and down.  I am so excited I could pee.  Literally.  We SO need this vacation. 

We’re staying in some random place north of San Diego.  It’s a golf course.  I don’t golf but if I did, I bet this is just the place I’d like to putt around.   We’ll also be seeing my favorite sister-in-law and I’m so looking forward to that.  Plus, for extra love, we’re bringing my amazing mom!  It’s a full on girl’s trip!  Since I’ll be with a bunch of old ladies (hee-hee), I can totally be lazy and they won’t even notice.  I just want to feel that ocean air and soak in the cool nights.  How I love California…

I’m still feeling good.  I had another little spell yesterday but, again, I was well taken care of.  I’m not sure if it’s all the meds or what but today my goal is to stay off the elevator floor and to EAT (for Missy) every two hours.  If something happens again, I’ll have to call my old head doctor.  The last time I did that they took my driver’s license away - NO thanks!  But other than that, I feel fine and I guess that’s not a very good pregnancy symptom.  No puking.  No extra pee time.  My boobs are insanely sore but that’s that damn progesterone talking. 

As for the beta, it’s scheduled for 8am next Thursday.  They said they’d do their best to get my answer to me before our plane departs but we’re already pushing it, asking for it a day early.   Otherwise, our first beta wouldn’t be until day 17.  No good.  I don’t even know what a good number would be for day 13.  Any ideas?  I hate googling stuff because it gets too much in my head.  My last failed attempt was 21 on day 14.  Not so good.  And KJ is killing me with her persistence to get me to test!  She even spoke of buying me some and leaving  them on my front porch.  But I’m too afraid of bad news.  I want this to last as long as possible.  Right now, if you ask me, I’m pregnant.  And healthy and carrying 2 or 3 little bubbles … to term!

 

There’s nothing too interesting to report.  The three embies didn’t make it to blast so there’s nothing to freeze.  It wasn’t a shocker as neither of us thought there was much of a chance for them. 

How funny that they become so important - this little group of cells?  I’m a pro-choice girl but I’m telling you, those little cells take a piece of my heart.  They matter.  I think after spending so much time in this ttc era I’ve been in, my outlook has changed a lot.  When you’re signing the paper that says you’ll donate them if they’re unused, all of the sudden you start wonderful what happens to them when they’re donated.  Is it just me?  And when I look at the picture of the embies inside me I can’t help but wonder what I’ll name them should they stay.  Or what they’ll look like.  You know?

I think I’m emotional.

I went back to work today.  It was lovely.  I had missed my co-workers friends terribly and it felt nice to be doing something productive.  Right before I left work today, I thought I’d test their CPR skills and have a minor seizure.  I like to keep them on their feet, you know?  I started getting a little foggy so I crammed cereal down my throat but it wasn’t enough.  Next thing you know I’m on the floor letting it flow through my body.  They did pretty great - getting me some sugar and letting me lay down by them.  I think I’ll let them outa any more of those for a while.  And now I have that fun “after headache” that comes when you’re getting your head back.  Yeah, I think they missed me too.

I feel good.  Really.  But good like if Wonder Woman and someone who was really wimpy (like that hamburger junky from Popeye) had a baby.  (that was for you, Lauren!)  I started getting a little achy toward the end of the afternoon but mostly I feel like I could run a marathon compared to last week.  I don’t feel pregnant.  But then Cristy reminded me that I don’t actually know what it feels like to be pregnant.  My daily progesterone stab wound is tricking my body into thinking this time is for real.  Who knows…

I’m just happy to death to be in the position of “not knowing”.  Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise, right?  My swollen belly could pass anyway.  I might as well soak it up!

 

That’s right folks, it’s Pride Day here in Salt Lake City.  Cristy and Yegs took the scooter and joined Equal*ty Utah in the parade this morning and brought some pictures back for me.

Yegs praying for lots of parade give aways…

 Cristy, Yegs and two of our favorite scooter riders…

 The back half of our float…

 The sidelines…

It looks like it went perfectly and even though I missed it, I’ve been doing pretty well here myself.

I have been down, down, down.  Seriously.  I intend to do everything right - everything they say to do.  I could die of bordome but I have some books, some movies, some tasty mocktails and even a warm shower ahead of me.  I’m feeling pretty good but still terribly achy from my retrieval.  I don’t remember it hurting so bad last time.  I feel like I can feel the needle pokes.  But I can’t.  However, I am certain I now know what it feels like to get kicked in the testicles.

Here are some pictures of my day…

Through the pergola - straight up to Jesus…

 

My tasty mocktail and sweet cherries…

My lunatic dog who doesn’t quite understand why I can’t throw her ball…

My foot.  Because I always give you a nice pictures of my foot…

My lilacs are blooming and they smell so lovely…

And this was me - doing nothing - for the 20th time this week…

 

We’re expecting a call from our doctor today.  They’re supposed to know the stats of our leftover three.  He mentioned something about an extra chromosome so we’re not expecting good viability but we’ll see. 

Thanks for all the love.  Cristy checks the comments and reads them to me.  You all make me smile. 

Cheers to High Hopes!